Coming Alive: Nicki’s Substack

Coming Alive: Nicki’s Substack

The Game-Changing Question

(estimated reading time: 1 min, 30 sec)

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Nicki Pappas
May 09, 2026
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In December, I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months. After we’d ordered our coffees and found a seat, she remarked, “You’re glowing.”

“Thanks! I moved out,” I replied.

I shared about how I’d been making different choices for my well-being. I was no longer drinking alcohol. I actually wasn’t consuming any substances I’d once relied on. And I was practicing intentional celibacy.

As we walked out together an hour or so later, she added to her earlier assessment, “You even look taller.” She then told me about a friend of hers who started to ask herself a single question that changed the whole damn game.

If you’re a free subscriber, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription to read the remainder of this post. However, if you have demonstrated care for me as a friend these past few years but are not able to financially support me at this time, please message me. I will send you this post for free. (Shoutout to Marla Taviano for modeling this.)

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