A PSA for Every SAHM
(estimated reading time: 1 min, 20 sec)
If you’re like me, you put your career on hold to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I do not regret being with my babies while they were little. However, now that I am getting a divorce, there are some actions I wish I had taken early on to set myself up for success.
This PSA Substack piece for every SAHM was prompted by some posts I recently saw.
The first:
The next time a man says he wants you to be a stay-at-home mom...
Tell him you expect a paid salary into an account he doesn’t have access to, a 401k, and a postnup.
His reaction will tell you exactly what you need to know.
A real man will want to protect you.
A labor digger won’t.
The second:
The real gold diggers are men who trap wives at home, gut her earning power, then cheat, hoard money, and cry victim when she wants what she’s owed. She built his life by sacrificing hers; that’s not a provider, that’s a parasite.
The third:
It’s not a privilege to stay home with your kids while working 24/7 unpaid with no days off, no career advancement, no savings, no retirement, just solely reliant on the chance your husband doesn’t one day decide he doesn’t want you anymore while he gets paid days off, retirement options, promotions, pay raises and never having to worry about whether or not he will have to choose between his career and his family
So, if you haven’t already, open your own bank account your significant other doesn’t have access to. I’m serious. Go do this today. When you get home from the bank, listen to labour by Paris Paloma on repeat while you devise your escape plan. Hopefully you won’t need one, but I want you to be prepared in the event that you do.
And if you need support, please message me.
I’m sending you all so much love.
ALSO…
Order my latest book Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire – nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age! With your purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
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